A time comes in your life when you finally get…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.
You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.
You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
Your stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you.
So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.
You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not you job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.
You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.
You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise.
You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.
You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you lean not to always take it personally.
You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You lean that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you heart’s desire.
You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.
Finally, with courage in you heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.
him to be picked up and hugged by him. Paul was a traveller he toured with a Country Western band back in the day. I must have been three at the time yet I can still see his young face vivid in my memory.
Our family has been pretty hard hit since the turn of the century, Our Father Harold, sister-in-law Linda (Luther's wife), nephew Hans (Luther's only son), Mother Dagny and now our brother Paul.
Born the 3rd son on the farm in North Dakota he would have had a much different childhood then I had. Lots of work but also fun times in lots of wide open spaces with his brothers and after a while a little sister Melody. Paul never really had it easy, being diagnosed at the age of 11 with type one diabetes back in the day. That was 60 years ago. I'm sure it wasn't easy learning to live with the injections and the highs and lows, I remember him telling how he had to learn to inject by using an Orange.
By the time I came along into the family Paul was nearly out of High School. I have so many photos that he took of me while going through a photography phase. He also loved working with wood and that is something he would carry on with through out his life. He built everything from small pieces of furniture to large homes. From start to finish he was a perfectionist. He wasn't home much but always came back for short visits. Music was his life, he played Clarinet, Sax, and piano that I recall.
I can remember the 1st time I met his soon to be life long partner Sue Ann. Mom, Dad, Nolan, and I had been for a visit in North Dakota and on our drive back to Oregon we stopped in Montana where Paul was running the Frontier Club (a large restaurant and dance club). He introduced us all to a lovely young lady that worked for him, that's when I had my 1st (Shirly Temple). I'm really blurry on the time period because I was only about 5 at the time. But then next thing I recall my niece Synnove was born on my 7th birthday! They lived in Eugene for awhile and Paul and Sue would have 2 more children, Anthony and then Paul Kjell. I don't think Paul could ever settle down for too long, off to Corvallis the family went. He built a few homes there and then it was off to Kalispell Montana for a few years, on to Arnegard North Dakota were he became Mayor of the small town he grew up in. I was excited when he decided to move close and live in Redmond Oregon.
In his latter years he lived between Montana and Yuma Arizona. He had friends all over. He would even stop by and see Iver in Salt Lake. But his health started to turn, so often we worried about him, the days and times he spent in the Hospital. But he always pulled through, Stroke, tumor, and even losing his foot couldn't keep him down. I think he finally got tired.
He was Cowboy, a father, a grandfather, a great-grandfather a brother, an artist, a musician, a gifted woodworker and builder, a coin collector, a calligrapher a daredevil (skydiving and go cart racer), he also had that true Bolken stubbornness but at the same time would give you the shirt off his back when you needed it.
I miss you Paul, forever you will be my big brother.
Please add your memories
and here I can say more then I planned.
Dagny Synnove Bolken passed away peacefully at Mukilteo Sunset home in Mukilteo Washington with her daughter Melody by her side,
on Sept 25th 2009 just two months before her 93rd Birthday. We'll always remember that special smile, that caring heart, that warm embrace she always gave us.
There will l never be another one to replace her in our hearts, and the love we will always have for her.
She was devoted to her family, loving, forgiving and caring, not only to her own children and grandchildren
but also her nephews, nieces and and even strangers that happened on her door step.
Dagny loved to sing and often her sweet soprano voice could be heard on Sunday mornings singing solos as well as with the choir.
She sang lullaby s to her children and grandchildren while she rocked them to sleep. She played the piano right up to her last days, Dagny also loved to dance and
instilled the love of music and dance to those around her. She embraced her Norwegian heritage and every holiday would fill her
home with the smells of beautiful ornate cookies, candies, cakes and breads from handed down recipes.
She might be best known for her overnight buns that will always be remembered by everyone lucky enough
to have taste them. "Grandma's Buns are Best" the Sticker on her refrigerator read.
Everyone that came to visit always felt at home hanging around in her kitchen.
Dagny Anderson was born November 23rd 1916 into a large family of 5 brothers and 2 sisters, all whom proceeded her in death.
She grew up on the prairies of North Dakota, in times before electricity, running indoor water, or even before phones reached the area.
To venture into town meant catching the horses and hooking the team up to the wagon, or ride horseback. Most of her life was spent being on the farm, she
milked the cows, gathered eggs, loved her cats and dogs, and even her pet birds.
Married June 5th 1934 at 17 years old to Harold Bolken, a marriage that lasted 67 years, Dagny took care of Harold during his last years while he suffered from
Alzheimers. She rarely asked for help believing it was her responsibility. Harold proceeded her in death in 2002.
In her life time Dagny gave birth to 7 children, her oldest son Harold Dagfin passed away at 2 days old.
Then came Olaf, married to wife Jannis in Terrebonne Oregon. Paul, his wife Sue Ann of Whitefish Montana and Luther of Corvallis, Oregon.
Her first daughter is Melody, married to Lewis Hunsberger in Mukilteo Washington, Nolan and wife Jennifer of Atlanta, Georgia and finally
Kaja and her Husband Paul Malouf of Canberra Australia. Dagny has 18 grandchildren (oldest grandson Hans preceded in death 2005),
22 great grandchildren, many great great grand children, and host of relatives and friends all left to cherish her memory
She will be dearly missed by us all.
A memorial service will be held at a later date in Vancouver Washington. She will reside next to her Husband and Son in Arnegard, North Dakota, where
she was raised and lived a large part of her life.
My mother was my best friend.
She was always there for me, she drove me to the hospital when my 1st born arrived at 26 weeks. She stood by my side and it was hard for her because of loosing her own 1st born.
She stayed with me after I had a miscarriage between Torfinn and Iver. Always willing to take time out of her own life to comfort one of her children.
She helped me raise my 3 sons Torfinn, Iver, and Ian. She treated them like her own and instilled so many good values in them.
I am so proud to have Dagny has my mother.
It's sad in a way. I just don't want to miss my contacts. So if anyone is on Wordpress, facebook, flickr, or even twitter. Please leave your
link here. I think LJ like myspace is a dying breed. I've noticed fewer and fewer posts when I do come back to read. I know there are die hards still posting
but it's getting fewer and farther between.
she is 70 years old. I would say it's time to change the diet. !!! Just think
how much people could save on botox. =)
Who's the Sexiest Vegetarian Over 50? Vote Now! | Prime.PETA.org
Still playin with the Nik trial.
I love it. The water in this shot was pea green and the sky was just white. Now it looks like the sun is hitting it on it's way down. So many fun things to do with this program.
on another note, a red back spider has been living under our refrigerator. I've been fooling myself that they don't come in homes all this time.
I'm still sick with vertigo, sore throat, runny stuffy nose and swollen glands. I want to feel better Now!
I remember cheers and tears as the Family sat around my sisters TV, we where having a picnic that day. I also remember someone saying if only Grandpa was here to see it, He had passed away just a few years before. He never would have believed it.
Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.
The five words she gave me are: angles, birds, caring, norway, resilient
1. Angles! The 1st thing that comes to mind is photos, I love abstract art and see angles in everything. If I could paint I'm sure most of my painting would be filled with Geometry.
2. Birds. I have to admit that birds were just in the background for me until I moved to Australia. Since moving here I have studied them to the point that I can tell what bird it is just by the sounds it makes. I adore birds! I have been lucky enough to have a yard full of different birds at any given time. Magpies that eat from my hand and stand on the window sill and watch me do dishes. Did you know that many birds mate until death?
3. Caring. Nice word to be associated with. I care about future, I care about the present treatment of humans as well as animals. I cry far to often about things I can't control. What scares me is that there are
so many that couldn't care less and that the caring are the minority.
4. Norway. I am so proud to have my heritage on both sides of my family come from Norway. I suppose it's a pride that was instilled by my parents, mother following so many traditions and just the pride
my whole family seems to have. When I visited Norway I fell in love with the people and the country side. My children also have this pride have always been interested in the history.
5 Resilient. No matter what crazy path I've walked down I've always found my way back to the correct way eventually. =) enough said.
So there you have it.