(no subject)

I've been downloading my whole domain one file at a time. I used to be able to do a site back up from the C-panel but I can't get to it. I'm not going to play the game I'm just going to move on. And save myself heaps of cash in the long run. I can't believe how much I have been throwing away over the years to this company. All and All even bad things turn to good. I have to go to a meeting at work and then pick up Paul for lunch. Ian hurt himself skateboarding last night and I don't think he wants me to post what happened to him but I was surprised that he wanted to go to school today considering the area is purple and it must hurt something awful. I am finding myself doing so much soul searching and asking myself so many questions, I know why I'm doing it so It should be easy to control right? Well that's not always the case. I know I just can't let it consume me, right now I feel a little lost.
I feel out of touch with so many things I don't want to loose in my life. I really don't want to whine and turn this into a "I need attention journal" I don't really need attention but something is missing from this life that I should be content with. I have to figure it out.